you didnt know i had herpes?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I want is dick and wine.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
