i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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