puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize