that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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