ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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