You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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