he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
