i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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