No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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