i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
