apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
