I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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