So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
