Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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