I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What a dumb baby whore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
