is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
