I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
