Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
