the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
