then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
