proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
