We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
