I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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