You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
