If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
