You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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