New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
