I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
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