I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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