never play flip cup with pint glasses
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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