the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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