How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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