If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
