lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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