That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We're too hungover to prance.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
