Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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