Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
