It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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