he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
