chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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