Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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