she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
