Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
