and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
