I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
