Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
