I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
