My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
