If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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