She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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