Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
