Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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