So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Two words: blizzard sex
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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