Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
