yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dear god my vagina.
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