no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
