You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize