Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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