haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
