This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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