never play flip cup with pint glasses
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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