Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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