Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
