Say something about gay babies.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
