Where is the hickey?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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